Rathbone's Ramblin'

[rathbone]

[ali]

[rathbone]

[rathbone]

[rathbone]

[rathbone]

[rathbone]

I'm just back from Kilifi to a cold and foggy Gatwick.

Kilifi is a small community on the east of Kenya where Aids is rife. 70% of the women have been widowed by the disease and 45% of the children are orphans. The village, literally, consists of mud huts. There is no electricity and only one standpipe for water.

I've spent the last three weeks working with a team of volunteers converting the former school house from this:


to this:


The women will use this as a centre for teaching the children, running a dressmaking workshop and a place to mill maise and casava.

From me, (and my fellow volunteers) Happy Christmas.

[Poppy]

[Maria]

[Epykat]

Well done you

[rathbone]

It’s a bit like the one on the front of Frank Zappa’s One Size Fits All, and I’m beginning to love it.




Mind you, it’s taken a couple of weeks.

Despite all of those careful measurements and re-assurances from Phillip, the nice sales assistant, they did have to take the handles off the living room door in order to get it in and even contemplated taking the door off its hinges). But in it came, and out went the old one, consigned to the garage to await collection by the bulky refuse men.

The first thing was the banging on the back of the knees. After years of coming in and flopping back, exhausted, onto the couch, my sub-conscious had worked out the precise trajectory required for perfect repose. So, naturally, I flopped back without a moment’s hesitation, to discover that this one is higher than the old one. Like a plane overshooting the runway, my backside skidded to a halt later than expected and the back of my knees banged against bar below the cushions. A couple of days of practice runs were required to sort that one out.

Then there are the cushions themselves. My rear knew, and adjusted to, every nook and cranny of those old cushions and, in symbiotic fashion, they had adapted to accommodate my own nooks and crannies. These new ones are arrogant show-offs, always replumping themselves between sittings and tumbling me about into awkward positions every time I sit on them. Never mind, a few stern shufflings will soon settle their hash.

I usually sit on the extreme left, nearest the fire. This new sofa’s a little bit longer than the old one. Not much, just an inch or two, but sufficient to completely throw out of kilter the balance on the stereo. I find that I’m getting a completely new perspective on much loved guitar breaks and drum solos are appearing out of the ether. However, if I adjust the balance, Mrs. R. complains that it’s gone wonky for her.

The television also needs a bit of adjustment. Not the picture, which I can see perfectly well, but the angle of fire at the remote control on the freeview box is slightly out, meaning that I have to move a couple of inches in order to change channels. That is just not on.

Nor is the fact that I can’t see the postman coming when I’m lying back watching breakfast tele because the back of this new thing is just high enough to obscure the view out the window.

Worst of all is the fact that, when reclining, the reach from couch to coffee table has increased, leading to repetitive strain whilst imbibing.

On the plus side, however, that extra inch or two means that Mrs. R. and I can curl up side by side without one or other of us complaining about the arm of the settee poking them in the back.

Give it a few years and It’ll be just like one of the family.

[Epykat]

[Poppy]

[teddygirl]

Tut tut, Poppy, what inch or two are you thinking about ?

[Cleopas]

I know you're a very thorough writer Mr R ... but don't you think that was just a wee bit too much information???

[Poppy]

[rathbone]

[Cleopas]

[rapunzell]

[rathbone]

[ali]

[Maria]

Well, you don't lead a dull life that's for sure Rathbone! The whole thing sounds really scary despite your very witty account. Hope you are getting fussed over at home.

[foxy]

So glad you're still alive and kicking Rathbone and able to share your story with your virtual friends...bet the world seems a bit different today

[Epykat]

Just as well I log in here on a regular basis or I'd know nothing about my family

For future reference - my heart is fine

[sunnyporty]

[Porty]

[Nelson Hatstand]

[SoupDragon]

[arachnid]

[Poppy]

[Scoop]

Rathbone, I wish you a speedy recovery.

[Bob Jefferson]

[Dadaist]

[foxy]

em...makes you wonder why Christine bothered with Diet Coke

[Dadaist]

Duh. She's on a diet.