Only Good Jokes Here!

by **Scorpion** » 23 Jul 2007, 19:39

A young guy from Alberta moves to Vancouver and goes to a big
"everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta ."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.
I'll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the
job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the
boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says "one".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a
day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101,237.65".

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a
medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.

Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going
fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a
boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin
engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would
pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him
that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a
BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and
I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing."

by **Scorpion** » 11 Aug 2007, 19:10

by **Scorpion** » 11 Aug 2007, 19:11

by **Scorpion** » 11 Aug 2007, 19:18

by **Black Mamba** » 11 Aug 2007, 19:28

by **bearcub** » 11 Aug 2007, 20:47

by **Scorpion** » 30 Oct 2007, 20:35

Might take a while to work out why she's smiling.

http://www.magnumopus.co.uk/Hampshirecops.jpg

by **arachnid** » 30 Oct 2007, 23:52

Something to do with where the exhaust is on the bus??? :wink:

by **Scorpion** » 31 Oct 2007, 00:27

Maybe it's a pipe dream, he says with muffled laughter

by **Black Mamba** » 31 Oct 2007, 11:05

by **arachnid** » 31 Oct 2007, 23:03

by **arachnid** » 31 Oct 2007, 23:06

by **Black Mamba** » 01 Nov 2007, 15:30

by **Maria** » 01 Nov 2007, 17:45

by **Black Mamba** » 01 Nov 2007, 18:21

by **Poppy** » 01 Nov 2007, 20:47

by **arachnid** » 01 Nov 2007, 21:35

by **Scorpion** » 17 Nov 2007, 19:52

by **Scorpion** » 12 Feb 2008, 20:23

Don't touch the walls and make sure the sound is turned on http://www.wimp.com/maze/

After you have finished watch this http://www.metacafe.com/watch/707458/sc ... mpilation/

by **CatzVP** » 30 Jun 2008, 17:22

by **Scorpion** » 06 Jul 2008, 18:17

by **arachnid** » 03 Aug 2008, 13:38

Wonder if I could try this now that I'm a retired pensioner!!!! :wink:

Subject: What do retired people really do all day?

>>
>> Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their
>> days interesting.
>>
>> Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went
>> into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came
>> out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and
>> said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He
>> ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.
>> He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn
>> tires.
>>
>> So my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put
>> it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third
>> ticket.
>>
>> This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more
>> tickets he wrote.
>>
>> Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a
>> little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.
>>

by **gilo** » 04 Mar 2010, 20:55

by **Maria** » 05 Mar 2010, 18:19

by **Bob Jefferson** » 05 Mar 2010, 19:51

by **allaboardtheskylark** » 16 Mar 2010, 22:53

A woman with her baby gets onto a Lothian Bus and the drivers says "aw hen, that's one ugly baby".

Distraught, she makes her way up the bus, sits next to an old lady and bursts into tears.

The old lady comforts her and asks "what's wrong hen".

The woman replies "it was that driver, he was incredibly rude".

The old lady replied, "go back up there hen and give him a piece of your mind.

The young woman asks "will you come with me".

The old lady replies....

"Naw hen, I'll just sit here and hold on to yer monkey"

by **Zargonian** » 23 Mar 2010, 14:40

Only Good Jokes Here!

China opens 1000 stall public toilet

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